“A really good blowjob is like making a cake, the gathering of ingredients, the mixing and stirring, the slow baking in the warm oven of your mouth. Timing is everything. So is the variety of flicks, licks, sucks and kisses that climax with gentle persistent pressure on his masculine playground.”
Give me one of your famous FELLATIO’S please?
Before you start freaking out that your partner might just choose the famous Fellatio on tonight’s menu, wouldn’t it help if you knew that it is less about the size of your mouth and more about exploring your abilities and possibilities.
For some, BLOWJOBS are just a Big fat NO GO and that is OK! Where did we learn that we had to give blowjobs? You don’t HAVE to do anything in a partnership that you don’t want to, and that goes for you men too. That’s just rude to be forced, I mean c’mon who raised you?
To ALL you women, we have beautiful bodies and hands that can stimulate and tantalize our partners in many other ways so choose to put your enthusiasm elsewhere. Learn to not overthink things in the bedroom and underestimate your own abilities – because let’s get real, most of us women struggle to switch off our minds and tend to self-sabotage before we even start pleasuring. Ladies, being attractive is ALL about how you feel!
JUST ASK when you want to know something, keep the communication between you two open. Ask what your partner enjoys (there is nothing wrong with asking questions.) You may find that he might enjoy other things more than just getting head like you assumed.
However, if you are open and keen to explore the art of fellatio today or someday in the future, I am happy to share ‘8 Starting How-To’s and Tips (excuse the pun) to giving a Blow Job’.
1. Enthusiasm and Sexual Confidence
Enthusiasm is your friend when giving any pleasure. Just think what a turn off it is even just being kissed with no enthusiasm……. pretty awful right! Get yourself excited to explore this with your partner even though he is receiving the pleasure, you are in the control seat of giving it and that is Exciting! Sexual confidence goes hand-in-hand with enthusiasm and it has very little do with sex. It is about being comfortable in your body, and it is very important for you and him to be comfortable.
2. What is this ‘PERFECT’ word?
There is no perfect way to do it! So, stop worrying that you won’t get it right or getting something wrong. Remember that he is probably nervous too about not getting erect, climaxing too quickly, not climaxing at all, amongst many things he
could worry about, so if you do feel under any pressure to perform a perfect BJ, he will probably not even notice any “mistake”.
3. Kiss around
To build on the foreplay, kiss around the area like his hips, stomach, and thighs to add more tension and tease. Don’t just jump straight into the deep-end if you can drag out the pleasure and make it last. We aren’t rushing to the finish line here.
4. Hands is an important tool
When letting him slide into your mouth, place your hands around the shaft as well so that you have more control over how far you allow the penis to go into your mouth. It will add more pleasure for him when you rub them up and down as you would do when giving a hand job.
Hands are also great to use when your jaw starts tensing up and needs a bit of a break which, by the way, really does happen & is 100% normal.
5. The Start Up
REMEMBER you set the pace – start off slow with light pressure.
Build up the speed when you see he starts enjoying it. Use the tip of your tongue to target specific areas of the penis. The Frenulum (the underside of the penis where the foreskin meets the penis shaft) is incredibly sensitive and you can apply gentle flicking motions, up & down, side to side or circular motions.
Don’t be afraid to explore the testicles as well as they are often forgotten about. Just be very gentle with them.
AVOID using teeth, it’s a quick turn off. (Unless you ask them for permission and they allow it, use them caringly).
6. Body language
Pay attention to body language. Some men are not as verbal as others, so just because they are quiet doesn’t mean they aren’t enjoying it. Look for non-verbal signs like heavier breathing or thrusting actions. You can make some noise too to add to the mood. Bonus tip: Humming when you are sucking him, causes mouth vibrations which can be an added stimulus for him.
7. LUBE!
Lubricant is an essential in the bedroom even for oral sex. There are a wide variety of lubricants that you can put on the entire penis (vice versa for when the man when he goes down on us) that are very tasty and make it easier for our mouths to glide over the penis. There are cooling and warming lubes available as well that provide more of a sensation too. We have all of these available in store or on our website www.cosettes.co.za
8. Play Around
Play around and explore with your partner. We think the only position meant for blow jobs is for us to be kneeled in front of the man standing in front of us, and that is definitely NOT the case. Explore positions, lie on the bed, hang your head off the bed, have him kneel over you, try the famous 69 and many others. Keep it fun and have variations in the bedroom.
Remember a Blowjob isn’t just the Big O, it is part of the foreplay journey, so don’t place to much pressure on yourself if he doesn’t climax during a BJ, but if he does, YOU GO GIRL!
And yes, it is fair to ask them to clean themselves before a Blow job, no one wants to go down on something dirty!
Stay Naughty!